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Confidential
We Will Rise [28 Apr 2007|11:40pm]
"Tear down the walls
Wake up the world
Ignorance is not bliss
So fed up with second best
Our time is here and now

I am the enemy
I am the antidote
Watch me closely
I will stand up - now

We will rise
Rise above

Stereotype Fools
Playing the game
Nothing unique
They all look the same
In this sea of mediocrity
I can be anything
Anything I want to be

We will rise"

Confidential
change [18 Apr 2007|01:16am]
"Observing on high the ants down low
watching with pansophical design
my cry fell to ears below
thoughts from emotions,I misalign

all but perfect this became
more altitude I gain with time
burning barrier must stay the same
higher,higher I must now climb

steady then,my journeyed pace
attempting to shed the mange
I hurry now,beginning to race
amoungst the winds of change."

Confidential
In [10 Apr 2007|12:38am]
"In my eyes you will see the world,perfected
seperated,black from white,incessant light
A world void of the night,pulled apart,dissected
And vast artic blue oceans of everything right

In my heart you will see an ever burning fire
filled with passion enduced might
blazing red embers,raging flame desire
and an aura of honest deduced sight

In my mind you will see a storm of thought
volatile,erratic whirlwind of views
echoes of past battle fought
and everything else you choose"

Confidential
3.2 [26 Mar 2007|12:51am]
"egos of the considerable have clashed
a furious,abrupt blame
impervious heads,battered and bashed
just a childish game

little of this is understood
to a personage so closed
never thinking what I should
self effigy disposed

giving the preference of choice
on which to be built
censorship of my voice
on her is the guilt."

Confidential
3 [25 Mar 2007|10:52pm]
"The smile of a blossoming flower
in the mid-days sun sprung
holding eyes with unwavering power
the laughter thereafter begun

a wanton mind travels far
promptly,the feet do trail
hearts music keeping on par
creativity,affix to sail

another day has passed
the same sun is set
my thoughts have amassed
with still no regret"

Confidential
2 [25 Mar 2007|02:28am]
"Sown are his seeds of sacrifice
yet to be known or shown
best kept secret of men and mice
through the leaves are blown

to hearts filled with vexation
and some of mild content
some of lamentation
others,no care was sent

disconcert notes,played
in a discord string scene
altruistic digression,layed
on a perplexed,civic screen"

2 Pages //Confidential
Transition [23 Mar 2007|12:15am]
Tonight marks the major beginning transitions of my change,some people hate me for it,some people dont..some don't care,as well as know.. but once it's complete.. all of them will see,and understand everything.This change will be so profound,it will almost be legendary to the people that matter,people will remember me.. hated or not.


I once traveled the eastern skies
carrying burdens of friend and foe
I cared not to be equal to
even through anguish and woe

but its time to take to flame
to extinguish my presence to ash
become nothingness,complete inane
to vanish myself in a flash

a flash,a flash of brilliant fire
Succeed only a shy swansong tone
and in the wake,a cinnamon pyre
and Anticipation alone

Confidential
Ashes of the Phoenix [21 Mar 2007|01:06am]
A phoenix only dies to be reborn from the ash of its own demise.


Im deleting all of my profiles tomorrow night,and as for this journal,it shall gather dust.It's time for a change.



X

Confidential
Marine [12 Mar 2007|10:10pm]
Tempered by the fire of battle,
Tested by fear and doubt,
Held up by my God and my brothers.

I have suffered,
I have hurt,
I have bled,
I have lived,

And I have died.

I have wept for fallen brothers,
I have prayed for my family at home,
I have hoped,
And I have loved.

Though I've died, I yet live,
I am reborn in each new generation of my brothers,
I live in them,
They carry my memory in their hearts,
They honor me,
And they will never forget me.

This land I love,
I have given it all I had to give,
And I would do it again.

I am one of The Few and the Proud.
I am a United States Marine.

By Donnie Marler

what a day.. [18 Feb 2007|10:39pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Today marked the recovery from my last relationship(tho not by choice,her choice.) and finally what I have been planning since last november comes into play.I have decided(without any more interruptions) to join the United States Marine Corp. as a grunt,tho I havent decided if im goin in the reserves or not,I'll let you know.Today it just seems like everyone lost faith in me,my friends and family I am utterly alone,and since no one chooses to invest their faith in me anymore,I will have to accept that and just go on with my life and soon-to-be career.

I have no more Regrets.

Confidential
Blake. [14 Feb 2007|10:59pm]
"The daughters of Mne Seraphim led round their sunny flocks, All but the youngest: she in paleness sought the secret air. To fade away like morning beauty from her mortal day: Down by the river of Adona her soft voice is heard; And thus her gentle lamentation falls like morning dew."

2 Pages //Confidential
Another dark January [16 Jan 2007|10:07pm]
[ mood | blank ]

So here I am,dealing with change of events,dramatic occurances,and one might say.. a typical january for me.Stress and confusion rain down on me like the snow that drifts outside,after the initial shock.. I formatted a plan to keep my mind occupied,tried to keep everything atleast semi-normal physically,I noticed a slight decline in my eating habits,since last weekend but.. that has changed for the most part,my stomach flu..or what I thought was is playin it's swansong
and things have panned out rather normally.I have been keeping myself busy with war study,reading and takin notes from The Art Of War,as well as the grand gift"The prince" I also decided maybe someday I might attend a military college for further study,maybe make a career of it,I mean..hell I do it for fun.. why not for a job,right? music for the most part has taken a backburner,considering Im not in the right state of mind to write music,and all the software I deleted lol,so I study on..currently Im dissecting the battle of the bulge,which..I think I bit off alittle more than I can chew.. so many places..battles..conflicts and tennis-like strategies..that my head is spinning lol,I suppose other than war study me and my mother have alittle competition goin on in this game called "bejeweled 2",see who can get the best high score.. and of course..its me hehe

as for my immediate future.. It's completely in the dark,and it scares me.

1 Page //Confidential
Fuckin hell [25 Dec 2006|10:48pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I hate this time of year lol,these last few decembers have been shit for me,this one isnt turning out different -_-,Hope you guys turned out pretty well lol,got everythin you wanted and such,I got everything thing I wanted.. >.>

Gift list:
1.A ten dollar bill
2.13 dollar nipple rings(which happen to be too small. lol)
3.Underwear(fuckin boxers yo!)
4.a 3.99$ Chess/checkers/backgammon set.(tho,I just wanted it for Chess.)
5.AXE lab gift set(this shit is like the Cocaine of smellzzz <3333)

and the most exspensive one isnt mine,I used my christmas money to get someone I hold dear a gift,but thats another story for another day lol

Confidential
!!! [21 Dec 2006|12:03am]
[ mood | crazy ]

X u l - S h i g g u r o t h says:
no no!
X u l - S h i g g u r o t h says:
the devill he was all like
X u l - S h i g g u r o t h says:
KILL KILL KILL on this video game
Brin Manson says:
OO
X u l - S h i g g u r o t h says:
and like I practiced a bit..and it was all like.. violent and stuff and it told me to kill but I was like IM HUNGRY and it gave me food..dominos to be exact and and and and andddd I tried to eat fast because I wanted to kill and such but the video game was all cool and stuff like it was all like HITLER IS COOL KILLLLL FOR SATAN ..and such


Nuff said.

Confidential
Inferno [07 Dec 2006|11:11pm]
"Through me you go to the grief-wracked city.
Through me to everlasting pain you go.
Through me you go and pass among lost souls.
Justice inspired my exhalted creator.
I am a creature of the holiest power,
of wisdom in the highest and of primal love.
Nothing til I was made was made,
only eternal beings.
And I endure eternally.
Surrender as you enter every hope you have"


...lasciate ogne speranza,voi ch'intrate

Confidential
Insanity [28 Nov 2006|11:34pm]
[ mood | bored ]

What is insanity? What does it mean to be insane? Who can judge a mans sanity,how does such men have the right? According to the dictionary Insanity is defined as "The condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind." The derangement of the mind,how can they truely say such things when man,himself only uses a portion of his mind at any given time,I think the definition of insanity is as vague as the condition itself..they lock them up,give them medication and perhaps give them a nice shock every once in awhile,in the hope that they will be cured.Truely,the cure for insanity should be sought upon at the source,the thing that pushed a man over the edge,the thing that drove a man to harm his loved ones...or so it's told.


The Garden.


The date was june the 11th,1880 I remember it like it was yesterday,yeah.. my wife,Abigail,of nearly five years was out tending to her garden,she called it her happy place,she never liked being stuck inside,always talking about the different varieties of flowers,and of their unique scents.Not to far behind her was the joy of my life,my daughter,Rose,I suppose you can guess who named her by now..I'd give anything to turn back time and to live forever in that day.... ahem,I suppose I'd give anything to be out of this hell,this torture that was beset upon me.The night came like usual,everything was normal..yes the night,itself was nothing special,or..atleast I thought at the time,It was the morning.. that rainy,unforgivable morning.I remember waking up in a cold sweat,dripping in the stuff,I remember it being silent.. not like the usual silence,there was no bird chirps,no outside noise,just silence.Facing the window I opened my eyes,hoping to be greeted by the morning sun,but instead by the lines of rain running down my window,that's when I noticed the blood.I quickly jumped out of bed in a frenzy to find the source,amoungst the crazed search I wiped my face with my hands,in complete shock I realized I was covered in the blood that drove me from my bed in the first place,then it hit me like a hammer to my breast,my wife wasn't in bed.
I quickly ran down the stairs,nearly killing myself in the process,through the halls into the kitchen in which I paused for a moment to catch my breath,thats when I noticed there was more blood.The blood covered the floor like molasses,at this point I couldn't hold the tears back any longer,I walked carefully through the covered floor to the window right above the counter that my now missing wife used to make her fine apple pie on those lovely saturday mornings.I pulled myself together,wiping my tears away I noticed something strange out in the garden,I quickly sprinted out the back door to the garden to see what it was,I still regret the moment I made that decision.I stood in horror,then a sudden sickness in my stomach came upon me so strongly that the contents expelled themselves from my being.After a few moments of the sickness I saw in full the very image,my darkest nightmare come true,there laying in the garden was the remains of my lovely wife,her beauty defiled by the dark tones of blood covering the very face I used to think about all day while at work,the face I dreamed about.I fell to my knees,praying to god that this was just a bad dream,wishing for it to not be real.
It wasn't long after that when my neighbor,Rosetta,quickly notified the police and I was detained,I suppose being covered in the victims blood doesnt help a mans innocence.I was quickly informed also(tho in a rather rude and sarcastic manner) that my lovely Rose was found in the cellar,as worse off as her mother

4 Pages //Confidential
yo! [19 Nov 2006|12:06am]
[ mood | happy ]

Hello my lovelys,



not much has been happening on this end,I know I havent been on as much as some of you want me to be,but its hard..trust me I'd be on more if I could.As for you Allie dear Im sorry if my convos seem.. umm hollow? I have a lot on my mind,lots of things goin on in my life now,as Im sure you have a lot goin on in yours,speaking of which.. how's school goin? hows the "hunt" going?..your last entry..the picture lmao.. weird.. weird weird shit there dear,it got me the most when I saw the copyright :-p,Random as usual I see ^-^.Lillers we keep tryin to have convos lmao.. but it never seems to work.. you're always busy which I understand,gotta keep up that cool reputation you have goin :-p and with that new piercing..it shouldnt be too hard ^-^

*leaves out Ms. Kelly since you always leave me out of yer entries :-p *pokes*

and as for krystie..if you read this anymore.. you filthy fucking stalker! *shakes fist.*


Michael,over and out. lmao

1 Page //Confidential
Xul [08 Nov 2006|11:09pm]
Xul..Many things can be said about him.. or it,many things are not,possibly for the sake of my sanity,maybe for the sake of his existence.In essence I am him,but yet I have a lot to learn of him still,he comes and goes as he wishes,he gives me knowledge,he shares his sight but only in ways I have to translate,he tests me,for the knowledge he knows isn't meant for the undeserving.We as a people have forgotten our past,its covered in dust and rust,we have forgotten our home,the cradle of existence,not me.. for Xul has shown me vast oceans of sands,spotted with the luxury of the oasis.. true paradise.

Mankind is a War-bound creature,its what we're best at..and continue to get better at,Xul has told me of the great creation,the Mud and the Blood of the Leader.. the Leader named Kingu.As a human,Xul says.. I am different,my blood is different,it smells different and my essence glows with the radiation of a lesser God,he too shares this blood.. for he is the child of a lesser (known) God(dess),I still do not understand why Marduk would use the blood of his enemy to create us,that's a puzzle that I will have to figure out.

As for the name Xul-Shigguroth,it is a name I gave him,it is a name that we both agreed on,for Xul the being has no name,it was forgotten long ago.I can feel him coursing through my vains,I can feel him in every breath I take,I can also feel his power..a power I yearn for,a power I need to have control over a power I've wanted since I can remember.Typical human to wish for power,but I will not stop until I finally embrace such power.

Xul says that there are certain Items that are laced with power,mythical power..Scattered in the Syrian desert,Xul also says the reason why there is War there is because of such Items,whether it be a covered to find the Items,or just because of the energy they produce,if that is so,the Items definantly exhibit pure Chaos,and should never be weilded in the hands of a Human,Some memories from the past should stay buried..

with those Items in the desert,there is a Book..a tome,a journal if you will of a very powerful(and clever) Human..and no Im not talking about the Fictional "Mad Arab" tho such label would best suit this person.Some say a young Chinese Emperor hired this wanderer to create an army of the undead to hold off the barbarians invading from the west,Most call it Legend,Xul says otherwise.This book holds the secrets of reanimating the dead,and controlling them.. as well as other things(Secrets for now..of course.) this book could easily destroy mankind,I want said book.

Xul doesnt say much about this wanderer,tho he did mention that this person wore a Hooded robe,much like a monk and never talked,I suppose someone with that power wouldn't have to talk,and that this person still lives to this day,tho dormant somewhere.he buried the book after some troubles with controlling its power and the rest is history.
Also buried in a cave.. in the Syrian desert is a Gateway to another plane of existence,noted in the Babylonian genesis(and in Simons Necronomicon).. about the fall of Ishtar into the nether realm..through the gates,where she was stripped of her holy Items..and killed,Much like the ressurection of Christ.. but much much older.Anyways,This Gate way is home to a couple of Demigods,tho most call them demons,It's fabled that in this plane,there is an Item of immense power,but it's heavily guarded by Dog-Faced Demons,who chew on the souls of man,This Item cannot be used by Other-worldly Beings..so the Gods put it there to be safe..safe from Humans.

Xul says that the Oceans hold a lot of answers for mankind,and that we are too blinded by our thirst for Space to notice that the Ocean is home to some of the most influential discoveries of mankind,Home to a god(tho lesser in stature) named Dagon(I know,Lovecraft mentions him in his stories,But the if you do some research he is in the pantheon of the Sumerians.)

1 Page //Confidential
Genious! [25 Oct 2006|11:23pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

okay okay..so I gots a good horror movie plot!

its..

EVIL CAT IN THE HAT!!!

"*says in movie announcer voice* "he was once a symbol of love and joy.. but now..he's here to..KILL*insert evil laughter here.*"

this might sell more than Mop shop! :-o!! who knows hehehe

Genious! I swearz it! BUAAAAhahahahahhahahahah




>.> who couldn't love watching thing 1 and 2 chasing around those whiny,emo,rich kids! Trying to eat them of course! <.

2 Pages //Confidential
aahahahahaha [22 Oct 2006|10:21pm]
X u l - S h i g g u r o t h says:
Scrambled Chicken Fetus is the best!
[ (R)] GORE//WHORE-;; says:
LMAO
X u l - S h i g g u r o t h says:
Kinda like an Abortion the whole family can enjoy!

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